Explain that the Lord has given parents a sacred duty to teach their children. This responsibility must not be taken lightly or left to others. Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles emphasized:
“We cannot and we must not allow the school, community, television, or even Church organizations to establish our children’s values. The Lord has placed this duty with mothers and fathers. It is one from which we cannot escape and one that cannot be delegated. Others may help, but parents remain accountable. Therefore, we must guard the sanctity of our homes because that is where children develop their values, attitudes, and habits for everyday living” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1991, 106; or Ensign, May 1991, 79–80).
Have participants turn to Doctrine and Covenants 42:14. Explain that this verse contains an important key for parents as they teach their children. Then read the verse with participants.
• What key is found in this verse? (We must teach by the Spirit.) What does it mean to teach by the Spirit?
Share the following counsel from President Gordon B. Hinckley:
“You parents, love your children. Cherish them. They are so precious. They are so very, very important. They are the future. You need more than your own wisdom in rearing them. You need the help of the Lord. Pray for that help and follow the inspiration which you receive” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1995, 120; or Ensign, Nov. 1995, 89).
• Why do parents need inspiration in their efforts to teach their children? What can parents do to invite the influence of the Holy Ghost as they teach their children?
Share the following story related by Elder F. Enzio Busche of the Seventy:
“One day when circumstances made it necessary for me to be at home at an unusual time, I witnessed from another room how our eleven-year-old son, just returning from school, was directing ugly words towards his younger sister. They were words that offended me—words that I had never thought our son would use. My first natural reaction in my anger was to get up and go after him. Fortunately, I had to walk across the room and open a door before I could reach him, and I remember in those few seconds I fervently prayed to my Heavenly Father to help me to handle the situation. Peace came over me. I was no longer angry.
“Our son, being shocked to see me home, was filled with fear when I approached him. To my surprise I heard myself saying, ‘Welcome home, son!’ and I extended my hand as a greeting. And then in a formal style I invited him to sit close to me in the living room for a personal talk. I heard myself expressing my love for him. I talked with him about the battle that every one of us has to fight each day within ourselves.
“As I expressed my confidence in him, he broke into tears, confessing his unworthiness and condemning himself beyond measure. Now it was my role to put his transgression in the proper perspective and to comfort him. A wonderful spirit came over us, and we ended up crying together, hugging each other in love and finally in joy. What could have been a disastrous confrontation between father and son became, through the help from the powers above, one of the most beautiful experiences of our relationship that we both have never forgotten” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1982, 98–99; or Ensign, May 1982, 70).
Ask participants to share experiences when the Holy Ghost led them to teach or help a child in a certain way—perhaps in a way that they had not originally planned.
• What can parents do to prepare themselves to receive the guidance of the Holy Ghost? (As participants discuss this question, invite them to read some or all of the following scripture passages: Alma 17:2–3; D&C 11:21; 20:77; 121:45–46; 136:33.)
Explain that parents teach their children in two general ways: through their example and through their words.
• In what ways do parents’ examples add meaning to their words in teaching their children?
Have participants read the following statement made by Elder James E. Faust while he was serving in the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles (page 49 in the Marriage and Family Relations Participant’s Study Guide):
“When parents try to teach their children to avoid danger, it is no answer for parents to say to their children, ‘We are experienced and wise in the ways of the world, and we can get closer to the edge of the cliff than you.’ Parental hypocrisy can make children cynical and unbelieving of what they are taught in the home. For instance, when parents attend movies they forbid their children to see, parental credibility is diminished. If children are expected to be honest, parents must be honest. If children are expected to be virtuous, parents must be virtuous. If you expect your children to be honorable, you must be honorable” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1990, 41; or Ensign, Nov. 1990, 33–34).
• What can parents do to teach gospel principles by example?
While serving as Presiding Bishop, Bishop Robert D. Hales said, “As I think about … relationships with my own family, I cannot help but return to the example I received from my own parents” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1993, 8; or Ensign, Nov. 1993, 8). The following recollections show how Bishop Hales learned from his parents:
“My father taught me respect for the priesthood. While serving in the Aaronic Priesthood, we passed the sacrament using stainless steel sacrament trays which, as a result of spilled water, were often dulled with hard water spots. As a holder of the Aaronic Priesthood, I was responsible for helping prepare the sacrament. Father asked me to bring home the trays, and together we cleaned them with steel wool until every tray sparkled. When I passed the sacrament, I knew we had participated in making the sacrament ordinance a little more sacred” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1993, 8; or Ensign, Nov. 1993, 8).
“I am thankful for a mother who was devoted to her husband and children—a mother who taught by example. I am thankful for her dedicated service in the Relief Society for over thirty years. At the age of sixteen, upon receiving my driver’s license, I was privileged to learn from her as she took me along when she assisted the bishop in caring for the poor and the needy” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1992, 90; or Ensign, May 1992, 65).
• What opportunities do parents have to teach their children through their words?
As participants discuss this question, explain that family prayer, family scripture study, and family home evening will be discussed in lesson 16. In addition to these established opportunities for teaching, many teaching opportunities come at unplanned times during daily life. These opportunities can be powerful teaching moments because they are closely tied to what children are experiencing. Because such opportunities may come and go quickly, parents need to recognize them and be prepared to teach principles that their children are ready to learn.
• What are some unplanned teaching moments that parents can watch for? (If participants have difficulty answering this question, consider sharing the following suggestions to prompt discussion.)
Parents can find teaching moments when children have questions and worries, problems in getting along with siblings or friends, opportunities to make decisions, or concerns about ideas presented through the media. Other teaching opportunities come when children need to learn from their mistakes, when they are giving service, when they need to control their anger, or when they need help recognizing the influence of the Holy Ghost.
• In what ways can family routines such as mealtime and bedtime provide opportunities to teach?
• In what ways can one-on-one time with children give parents opportunities to teach? What can parents do to ensure that they spend time alone with each of their children?
• What have you been able to teach children during unplanned teaching moments?
Explain that the next four lessons in this course will discuss principles that parents should teach their children and opportunities parents have to teach.