Suggested Lesson Development

Parents show love for their children when they teach them.

Share the following experience related by Elder Loren C. Dunn of the Seventy:

“While we were growing up in a small community, my father saw the need for my brother and me to learn the principle of work. As a result, he put us to work on a small farm on the edge of town where he had been raised. He ran the local newspaper, so he could not spend much time with us except early in the morning and in the evening. That was quite a responsibility for two young teenagers, and sometimes we made mistakes.

“Our small farm was surrounded by other farms, and one of the farmers went in to see my father one day to tell him the things he thought we were doing wrong. My father listened to him carefully and then said, ‘Jim, you don’t understand. You see, I’m raising boys and not cows.’ After my father’s death, Jim told us his story. How grateful I was for a father who decided to raise boys, and not cows. In spite of the mistakes, we learned how to work on that little farm, and I guess, although they didn’t say it in so many words, we always knew we were more important to Mother and Father than the cows or, for that matter, anything else” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1974, 12; or Ensign, Nov. 1974, 11).

Emphasize that Elder Dunn and his brother always knew that their parents loved them. One way parents show love for their children is to take time to help them learn and apply gospel principles. This lesson discusses how to teach children five basic principles of gospel living: compassion and service, honesty, respect for others’ property, the joy of honest labor, and moral purity.

Parents must teach children compassion and service.

Explain that throughout His ministry, the Savior taught the importance of loving and serving others. He taught this principle by word and example.

Parents must teach children honesty and respect for others’ property.

Share the following counsel from President N. Eldon Tanner, who served as First Counselor in the First Presidency:

“Training in honesty begins in the home. Each of us has personal possessions which are ours alone. We can and should share such things as toys and games and our services to one another; but we have money, or jewelry, or clothing that is the personal property of each and should not be taken without the consent of the owner. A child who respects such honesty in the home is not apt to violate the principle outside the home. On the other hand, lack of such training fosters disrespect for the rights and property of others” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1978, 64; or Ensign, May 1978, 44).

Parents must teach children about the rewards of honest labor.

Explain that Church leaders have frequently counseled parents about the importance of teaching children to work. Although it is sometimes difficult to teach children to work, parents should persist in this effort. Elder L. Tom Perry of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles counseled, “Teaching children the joy of honest labor is one of the greatest of all gifts you can bestow upon them” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1986, 78; or Ensign, Nov. 1986, 62).

Read one or both of the following statements:

President Gordon B. Hinckley, the 15th President of the Church, counseled, “Children need to work with their parents—to wash dishes with them, to mop floors with them, to mow lawns, to prune trees and shrubbery, to paint and fix up and clean up and do a hundred other things where they will learn that labor is the price of cleanliness and progress and prosperity” (Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley [1997], 707).

While serving in the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, Elder James E. Faust taught: “An essential part of teaching children to be disciplined and responsible is to have them learn to work. … The best teachers of the principle of work are the parents themselves. For me, work became a joy when I first worked alongside my father, grandfather, uncles, and brothers. I am sure that I was often more of an aggravation than a help, but the memories are sweet and the lessons learned are valuable. Children need to learn responsibility and independence. Are the parents personally taking the time to show and demonstrate and explain so that children can, as Lehi taught, ‘act for themselves and not … be acted upon’? (2 Nephi 2:26)” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1990, 42; or Ensign, Nov. 1990, 34; see also page 50 in the Marriage and Family Relations Participant’s Study Guide).

Parents must teach children moral purity.

Emphasize that parents have an obligation to teach their children the Lord’s standards of moral purity. This will help the children resist temptation.

Invite participants who are parents to tell about successful experiences they have had with teaching their children about these subjects. In addition to asking for participants’ insights, share the following principles:

Very young children should be given clear and simple information about the sacred nature of their bodies. This understanding helps them protect themselves from those who may try to take advantage of them. As children approach the age of puberty, parents should carefully explain to them the changes that will occur in their bodies. They should explain that physical maturation is normal and a part of God’s plan.

Parents should also help their children understand that sexuality is good when used within the bounds set by the Lord but that it is a serious sin when used in violation of the Lord’s commands. Teenagers need clear guidelines from their parents about the Lord’s standards.

Display the pamphlet For the Strength of Youth. Explain that this pamphlet provides excellent help for youth and their parents. It includes information on the Church’s standards for dating, dress, language, media, and music and dancing. Encourage parents to read and discuss this pamphlet individually with each of their children who is in early adolescence. This provides an easy way for parents to approach subjects that can be difficult to talk about. It also gives youth an opportunity to ask specific questions about standards of morality. Share the following excerpt from pages 14–15 in the pamphlet:

“Our Heavenly Father has counseled that sexual intimacy should be reserved for his children within the bonds of marriage. The physical relationship between a husband and a wife can be beautiful and sacred. It is ordained of God for the procreation of children and for the expression of love within a marriage: ‘Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh’ (Genesis 2:24).

“Because sexual intimacy is so sacred, the Lord requires self-control and purity before marriage as well as full fidelity after marriage. In dating, treat your date with respect, and expect your date to show that same respect to you. Never treat your date as an object to be used for your own lustful desires or ego. Improper physical contact can cause a loss of self-control. Always stay in control of yourself and your physical feelings.

“The Lord specifically forbids certain behaviors, including all sexual relations before marriage, petting, sex perversion (such as homosexuality, rape, and incest), masturbation, or preoccupation with sex in thought, speech, or action. …

“Homosexual and lesbian activities are sinful and an abomination to the Lord (see Romans 1:26–27, 31). Unnatural affections, including those toward persons of the same gender, are counter to God’s eternal plan for his children. You are responsible to make right choices. Whether directed toward those of the same or opposite gender, lustful feelings and desires may lead to more serious sins. All Latter-day Saints must learn to control and discipline themselves.”

Display A Parent’s Guide and the Family Home Evening Resource Book. Explain that these resources offer help to parents who are striving to teach their children about chastity. A Parent’s Guide is devoted entirely to this subject. The Family Home Evening Resource Book addresses the subject on pages 253–60.

Emphasize that as parents talk with their children about sexuality, they can testify that moral purity leads to joy and peace.